July hit with a Bang

Well July has just come with a bang this year.  Far more eventful than I would like.

This is a thing I never understand when I watch movie or Tv shows and the character says “nothing exciting ever happens around here”. Why on earth would you want excitement? To me, most of the time, excitement = problems, conflicts, and even tragedy. So I like boring. I like things just going normal and fine, with some vacation here and there. But “excitement”? no thanks.

There have been a LOT of changes at work recently. But I’m not gonna go into that.

M’s Truck has seen better days and isn’t doing too awesome right now. But I’m also not gonna go into that.

Instead I’m just gonna focus on one story.

4^th of July started with it’s typical family festive events. My brother flew into town with my other brother driving up with my niece and nephew. And it was really normal. Playing volleyball for hours and just being with family. Different members of the family played (including my uncle rich who is over 75.) for just a little bit.

We then began playing the after dinner volleyball game, which traditionally most of the family comes and sits and watches. Cheering us on, or being the peanut gallery as it were. And uncle rich came to play on my team. And I was like “are you sure? Aww!” and gave him a big hug. He played for a bit. He played for a bit and then before you know it, he was jumping to hit the ball, slipped, and immediately went down, back and head first. With a bang.

I saw it start to happen and the second he was down I was basically immediately there by his side. Holding his hand and examining him. My brother was at the other side doing the same thing. My care taker / first aid instincts kicked in and I was in that mode all over again. As though no time has passed between the last time I had done it.

He started making a very pained noise, he looked very out of it and was confused. He clearly had had the wind knocked out of him, and was disoriented by the experience. And was starting to panic not understanding what was going on.

“We’re right here. Take it easy. Just try to breathe slowly when you can.”

It was the first time in a long time I saw how much of my mother was in him. The eyes, the hands, the noises he was making. I could see their relation very strongly in that moment and it was hitting me hard with feelings from the past. Times I have been through this with her. Maybe not exactly the same scenario, but… enough. More than enough. I was staying focused on him, but it was right there in front of my face.

We didn’t want to move him and told people to call 911. He tried to start to sit up and both me and my brother told him to just lay down for a little while. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. No need to get up just yet. Nobody is going anywhere.” He’s not one to want a fuss, so all the attention (from literally everyone there watching) was not helping. We tried to encourage the crowd to kind of mellow out, and they were not on top of us, but still.

I saw the look of grave concern and almost tears in Laura’s (his daughter) eyes. I know that look well. I was grateful my brother and I were there to assist and keep cool. And honestly, I know she was too.

He started to become more coherent. I asked him simple questions to test how he was feeling. He was very stubborn and wanted to sit up, so my brother and I very very slowly helped him do so. It was better than him fighting us and doing it himself. He insisted on telling 911 not to come, but thankfully it was too late for that. I was sure he had a concussion. He was insistent we take him to a chair to sit. We helped him, I asked a few more questions – are you nauseous? How’s your vision? Can you see this? That? And other things. Hugged him, told him I love him very much and the paramedics took over.

They didn’t put him on the gurney, but they did insist he go to the emergency room and get checked out. Which basically ended our evening. And ended it with this intensity. Which of course my uncle would not have wanted. (side note this whole event takes place at his house) but he was walking and leaving in a way that looked not too terrible. And he didn’t have much of a choice, we all told him he needed to go, and that if it was one of us – he would insist we go too.

Side note – he did have a concussion but is doing better. Mostly trying to take it easy.

It all just was a lot. I was worried about him. And the reality of it all was very strong when he left. Both his parents are gone – before I was even born. Both his sisters are gone. Dead from Diabetes. His brother currently is very unwell living with his wife in a care facility, and honestly we just never know how much time he has left. (It’s amazing he is still around really.) So he’s the last one left. The last one carrying on that group. And he’s still very alive, running his own company and living life with my aunt. He never seems like a fragile person. But then again – neither did my parents.

He changed a lot after my parents died. They were his best friends. So strangely in some ways, I think he would understand my grief about them better than my brothers. But he’s not one to talk too much about it. He’s not from a generation that does that.

We all said our goodnights, but It hit us hard. It hit me very hard. Made me think a lot about my mom. About those nights rushing into her room just sensing something was wrong, and being right. And then saving her. And then doing it all over again another night.

You just never know how many more 4^th of July’s there are. Which is more significant since the last one for my parents was when they were both alive, and we celebrated it on my birthday, that Saturday. By the next 4^th of July, they were both gone, and I was 30.

It was a lot. To think about. Especially with the 10-year anniversary coming up next month.

I’m grateful he’s still here. And I for sure want to tell him not to play volleyball anymore. Ones younger than him stopped playing years ago! But bless his spirit for playing. And bless him for giving us a place to come for that holiday for as long as I have been alive. I’m grateful I played volleyball with my brothers for as long as I did. That I got to spend time with family. And that I have them in my life.

Here’s to more drama free 4^th of July’s in the future. And a better summer.