It’s not that I don’t want to do more for the office. I do.
But really the motivation has to do with money and not with being an admin or
my “love” of being an admin.
Being an admin can be a suck job. You are the person who
makes a lot of things flow and happen, but nobody really realizes it. You work
in the shadows of making things come to fruition.
But my concerns are these. I will take on this new stuff, go
forward etc – and then I won’t get properly compensated for it. I will get a
raise of like 2 grand or something (if that) and that will be the end of it.
And I just can’t live on that. I just can’t. I’m just worried about how my pay
is basically a joke (which is what john said. )
I don’t want to grow harder skin.
I know I need to be better about tasks that are being given
to me. I need to be more helpful (although most of the time I have no clue what
people are talking about. Like “huh?” I don’t deal with money, so yeah, I
cannot answer your question.)
I will not eat sugar. I will not eat sugar.
I want a vacation. Not to anywhere really, just one with no
responsibilities. Just for a bit. I need to escape my constant stream of
anxiety.
My room needs to be organized and cleaned and I need to get
rid of stuff. Like… a LOT of stuff. STILL. And it kills me. I’m so frustrated
about it all.
I want a vacation AFTER I clean my room out properly. I want
time to be able to ACTUALY do that which I don’t feel like I have as well,
which is difficult. Every weekend I’m either super busy or super exhausted.
It’s too much for me to handle.
AND I feel like I need to be taking better care of M. I need
to be feeding him better and doing good meal planning.
Simply put I’m overwhelmed by all the things I feel like I
should be doing, all the potential I SHOULD be living up to and not so far and
it’s stressing me out and keeping me from going forward because I feel like I
can’t tackle all these things. I’m burnt out. And I’m having a difficult time
figuring out how to fix that right now.
